Nothing Else Matters

Little footsteps coming down the hall, giggling and shrieks of joy fill your ears.  It’s playtime.  The kids are running around the whole house playing tag, their cheeks are turning red from excitement, and peace invades your heart as you watch your babies enjoy themselves.  Once in a while they will come up to you and give you a kiss and then run back and play. These moments are the best memories I have of my little ones.

Having to grow up fast, I cut my childhood short, and that is one of the most important issues that I believe strongly a child should never have to endure.  One of many goals of parenting I have set for myself includes encouraging my children to play and stay young and innocent as long as possible.  

The best way I achieve this goal is to keep my personal struggles and stress away from them.  I may be having a terrible day, but I will not let the children see the tears come out of my eyes or my hands shaking in anger.  Whenever I feel this way, I take a breath, and then speak or act. This is a very important exercise that every parent should do.  Children are children, and then do not need to be exposed to adult worries and problems because when they are exposed, they will feel guilt and worry over issues that they cannot control.

Keeping my children involved in activities they are passionate about is another way I enhance their childhood.  For an example, my oldest son loves the outdoors and he just started boy scouts this week.  Sure, when I was pregnant with him, I dreamed of being a soccer mom or football mom, and when his personality started showing more and more over the years, I realized that he is not a sporty boy.  I encouraged him to try soccer and football, and neither of which he felt completely comfortable in.  So ultimately, boy scouts is just a natural fit for him, and I had to accept that.  In no way what so ever should you try to change your child to fit the idea you have for him/her.  “Show” mothers and fathers get my blood boiling when I witness them grilling their children for not meeting their selfish expectations.  Every time I witness that kind of display, I just want to put my hands on the shoulders of that child, tell them to relax and that they did well, and tell the parent to back off, it’s just a game!  There is absolutely no reason a child should feel pressured to do anything!

Above playtime and after-school activities, the very best thing you can do for your child, above all others, is to shower them in affection.  Whenever they put time and effort into something, always give them a hug or a high-five and tell them how awesome they are, whether they are succeeded or not.  This will teach them to do their best, whatever their best may be.  On the other hand, I’m not saying praise them for every time they put a toy back in the toy box when there are eight years old, because by then it should be routine, but for every new thing they experience and every challenge they overcome.

When you are a parent, your children look to you as their life support whether that’s emotion or physical.  They look to you for every issue they have from basic needs to emotional support.  You are their counselor, their coach, their teacher, their dietician, their maid and much more.  As a parent, you shape and define their whole lives and the kind of person those children will become.  Be careful and think about every word you say, every action you execute, and every element you expose them to, and remember to let them be children and relax!

“ With great power comes great responsibility” – Uncle Ben (Spiderman)