Being a parent has its ups and downs no matter the background, although being a single parent in the world we live in today, would make any person cringe. With the economy in the state it is in on top of all of the new worries parents have today with bullying, sexual predators, drug availability, and elevated immoral expectations among peers, it’s no wonder parenting is such a scary topic.
I am a very young mother that has definitely had to fight to earn respect and independence. My three beautiful children have been quite the blessings in my life. Without them, who knows what kind of life I would have. I have always been rebellious, headstrong, and defiant. Tell me to run, I will walk. Tell me stand, I will sit. My children have shown me patience, consistency, and an unmatched sense of unconditional love.
Having the role of mother and father demanded of me takes a toll after a while. My oldest two children have the same father, although he is not a part of their lives whatsoever, and my youngest son’s father comes and goes when he chooses. Playing “good cop, bad cop” is only entertaining in movies, trust me. Not only is it challenging for structure, its challenging with finances as well. Having to work on top of all of this is more than difficult. It is a catch 22, the more time you spend working makes you feel guilty and miss the little boogers, but also if you can’t pay the bills, you feel like a failure.
Going to college, for me, seemed like a no brainer. I hate the fact that I have to work my behind off to please cranky customers all day, only to pick up a two dollar tip when they leave. It just flat out isn’t worth the money, but it’s a means to an end. Waitressing will keep money in my pocket, the electricity on, and gas in my car to drive to class. And each day I am closer and closer to becoming an RN and taking care of people the way I am so passionate about, the way my children taught me to.
No matter the struggle, no matter the stress, being a mother is all I know, and it is what I am good at. If I could turn back time, I might change a few decisions I made in my past, but one thing is for sure, I wouldn't change having my children. Those three crazy babies are my life, my sun, my air, and my fuel to succeed and set the best example I can.
I won't justify
The way I live my life
'Cause I'm the one livin' it
Feelin' it, tastin' it
And you're just wasting your time
The way I live my life
'Cause I'm the one livin' it
Feelin' it, tastin' it
And you're just wasting your time
-Riptide, Sick Puppies
I am not a mother, but in a way I understand how you feel. My mom was a single mother for quite a long time while i was growing up. Me, being the oldest, helped her out as much as I could. I was too young to have a job, but I saved her the money and struggles of finding a trustworthy babysitter. I had to watch my little sisters, cook for them, and pick them up from school and walk them home. I respect that you have no shame in saying that you are a young mother. My best friend just had a baby and she is only sixteen. Everyone calls her names, but I try to remind her that her baby will make her a better person and not to listen to what other people say. You may be spending more time away from your kids than you want, but in the end they will appreciate all you went through for them to have a great upbringing!
ReplyDeleteWow, I feel your pain, and you are not alone! Your children are beautiful and blessed to have a mother that cares so much for them!I have to agree with you on the part about our children making us better women, without mine I dont know where I would be right now!Thanks for sharing and connecting!
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