Rolling in the Deep

Dishes are piling up, bills are past due, the kids won’t quit fighting, and you have a killer headache from the long day at work. You just can’t seem to get a firm grip on the challenges presented to you.  Anxiety starts creeping its sickening, stomach turning poison into every last nerve you have left.  It seems as though the harder you try to grasp control of your life, something else jumps right in the way of it.

Life is not always fair. This is something just about everyone, of every age, can agree with.  Not only being responsible for yourself, but for your children as well amplifies this feeling considerably.  What single parent has time or energy left after days such as these to focus on their own needs? On the rare occasion that you can find five minutes alone to just calm down, your mind still comes up with ten thousand other things you could have been doing for those five minutes you so selfishly wasted.  This is a major mistake most parents make; not taking enough time to themselves!

Under no circumstances should any parent, or anyone at all for that matter, feel guilty for taking “me-time”.  As long as the short term responsibilities are taken care of, by all means sit down, swallow an aspirin and relax.  Those dishes can wait another ten minutes for you to find your sanity, I promise you that.  

It’s safe to say that most families have somewhat of a schedule (which is HIGHLY recommended), it may not be set in stone, but at least an outline of one.  Think about a time of day that nothing is going on and pencil in quality time with yourself.  Spend the time doing something you enjoy whether it’s watching an episode of True Blood on HBO or reading a few chapters out of the new book you bought last week.  Sketch an idea for your next painting, or maybe even listen to some soothing music.  No matter the activity, as long as it is relaxing for you, it works.

To make this work, timing is the key.  I find that either during naptime or right after bedtime is perfect for me.  The best way succeed is making sure that everything is done before your “me-time”, that way when your designated time slot approaches, you won’t have to feel guilty for relaxing. 

Without quiet time, you will become a ticking time bomb of stress just waiting to combust, and that is not healthy for anyone.  As the old saying goes, “If mamma isn’t happy, no one’s happy”.  The rules still apply.

Waking up too early

Maybe we can sleep in

 I’ll make you banana pancakes

 Pretend like it’s the weekend now

  - Banana Pancakes, Jack Johnson

Sweet Sacrifice

                Being a parent has its ups and downs no matter the background, although being a single parent in the world we live in today, would make any person cringe.   With the economy in the state it is in on top of all of the new worries parents have today with bullying, sexual predators, drug availability, and elevated immoral expectations among peers, it’s no wonder parenting is such a scary topic. 

                I am a very young mother that has definitely had to fight to earn respect and independence.  My three beautiful children have been quite the blessings in my life.  Without them, who knows what kind of life I would have.  I have always been rebellious, headstrong, and defiant.  Tell me to run, I will walk.  Tell me stand, I will sit.  My children have shown me patience, consistency, and an unmatched sense of unconditional love.

                Having the role of mother and father demanded of me takes a toll after a while.  My oldest two children have the same father, although he is not a part of their lives whatsoever, and my youngest son’s father comes and goes when he chooses.  Playing “good cop, bad cop” is only entertaining in movies, trust me.  Not only is it challenging for structure, its challenging with finances as well.  Having to work on top of all of this is more than difficult.  It is a catch 22, the more time you spend working makes you feel guilty and miss the little boogers, but also if you can’t pay the bills, you feel like a failure. 

Going to college, for me, seemed like a no brainer.  I hate the fact that I have to work my behind off to please cranky customers all day, only to pick up a two dollar tip when they leave.  It just flat out isn’t worth the money, but it’s a means to an end.  Waitressing will keep money in my pocket, the electricity on, and gas in my car to drive to class.  And each day I am closer and closer to becoming an RN and taking care of people the way I am so passionate about, the way my children taught me to.

No matter the struggle, no matter the stress, being a mother is all I know, and it is what I am good at.  If I could turn back time, I might change a few decisions I made in my past, but one thing is for sure, I wouldn't change having my children.  Those three crazy babies are my life, my sun, my air, and my fuel to succeed and set the best example I can.

 I won't justify
             The way I live my life
             'Cause I'm the one livin' it
             Feelin' it, tastin' it
             And you're just wasting your time

                       -Riptide, Sick Puppies